Part I: Casting Your Net-work

"How are you?" "Fine. You?" "Fine." End of conversation. Oh, yeah, there's the babble about the weather and the latest sports scores, but the conversation often dies right after the last "fine".

Networking is about talking. Talking about what you are doing. Without talking about what you're doing, no one knows what you're doing. How do you get past the "fines" to actually sharing what you are really doing?

Getting Past the Fines

First of all, throw away the "fines". Or keep them but don't stop there. People really don't want to know how you are "feeling". They want to know how you are "doing". Feelings are tough to talk about and activities are much more interesting, though manners obligate us to ask about feelings instead. So skip the feelings and get to the activities and make everyone much more comfortable.

"How are you?"
"Great! We've just booked 20 towns on our North American speaking tour for next year. Exciting isn't it?"
"Wow, that's great!"
"What have you been working on?"
"I picked up an editorial assignment for National Geographic."
"Congratulations!"

This is networking. I tell you what I do, you tell me what you do, and together, maybe we can discover more information to help us both do what we do and do more of it.

Continuing with our show, imagine Speaker One walking over to Speaker Three and Four at the same social function.

"Hey, did you hear about Speaker Two? She's picked up an assignment with National Geographic!"
"That's great. I was just telling Speaker Four here about my gallery exhibition."
"That's wonderful! What an honor. We enjoy working with galleries. We've taught our photography programs at galleries and enjoy working with them."
"They are great to work with. I bet this gallery would love one of your programs. The owner of the gallery Fred Smith. Why don't I call him for you and tell him about you?"

Bingo, networking pays off. By sharing the excitement of what you and others are doing, people want to share back. Through that process, we pick up leads and information that can bring us business.

I don't know what to say

Conversation is often seen as something "hard." It doesn't have to be. First, plan what to tell people before you arrive. Practice it. Make sure it is concise and understandable, and make sure you have all the facts. If you want to talk about a specific event, have all the dates, times, and location information at the forefront of your mind. Tell people about the exciting things you are doing so word will spread, and make yourself interesting so people will want to get to know you and be around you. The more people are interested in you, the more they are likely to want to do business with you or send business your way.

Ask questions. Make a statement and then ask another question. In the first example, the statement was followed by the question, "Exciting, isn't it?" Responses create dialog. Keep people talking about themselves. As interesting as you may be, people will find you more interesting if you let them talk about themselves. This process is called "active listening."

Active Listening

"How are you?"
"Great! We have a new gallery exhibition coming up."
"Where?"
"Xations Gallery in downtown Seattle."
"An exhibition. Great exposure, isn't it?"
"It is, and a lot of hard work."
"An exhibition takes a lot of work to put together, doesn't it?"
"It sure does. We have to get all the work matted and framed."
"How are you getting the work framed?"
"I really like working with Framer and Sons. I've been with them for 15 years."
"Sounds like they are really good. We have some photographic work on rare trees in the Olympic National Park that I'd like to get framed for an exhibition. Can you recommend this company?"
"Sure, they're great. What kind of trees do you photograph?"

Active listening means really listening and repeating back what the person said, in a way that shows your interest, but also keeps them talking. By echoing back their comments in the form of questions, you "guide" the dialog, eliminating dead air space. Unconsciously, people believe in equal time, so the more time you "listen", the more likely they will be interested in hearing about you, once they finish going on and on. By "guiding" the conversation, you can bring the topic around to you, and what you are doing.

It's a very small world out there and they say that you are six people away from knowing anyone on the planet. Therefore, the more people you know who know what you are doing, the more business you have the potential to attract. Get out there and stop the "fines" and just talk it up.